Rule34Paheal? I know what you’re thinking? What the fuck is this Rule34 Paheal shit? Well, Rule 34 (animated) is a popular meme that essentially states, ‘if it exists, there is porn of it.’ In other words, it’s the idea that, since the world is filled with weird and perverse people such as yourself, there is porn of every single thing imaginable. Or, as rule34.paheal.net puts it in their About section, “There IS porn of it, no exceptions.”

Intricate drawings of Pokemon fucking their masters? There’s porn of it. Weird manga of fairies having every orifice filled with monstrous tentacles? There’s porn of it. Videos of grannies drinking shit and cum cocktails? Well, you get the picture (unfortunately, in that case).

If you are ever in doubt of the bold creative spirit of humanity, just look at the porn industry. It’s amazing the lengths people will go to get off. There is even a porno in the process of being made that will be shot in space. That’s right, antigravity fucking in a rocket ship. The two porn stars cast for it have been training for years for the role of a lifetime.

We put a man on the moon, and, now, we will put a man in a woman near the moon and film it. There’s nothing that we can’t do when we’re horny. Imagine if we applied this level of motivation and creativity to use in other fields. If only fucking could somehow solve problems like global warming and war. We would live in a beautiful utopia. I guarantee it.

Well, if we are going to have to deal with massive floods, superstorms, and potentially the extinction of our species, at least we will have an endless supply of porn to enjoy in the meantime — nothing like fapping away the woes of the world. If we can’t solve the world’s problems, at least we can make ourselves feel good while we still have the chance!